WOW. I thought I could sometimes get negative, which I think from time to time is understandable considering....
BUT there is NO need to be negative ALL. THE. TIME! There is ALWAYS someone worse off than you. You might not think it but there is. So many times I laid in that hospital bed, or at home thinking, and sobbing, why me? Constantly thinking, am I such a horrible person that this happened to me? Answer - NO.
Someone, somewhere was looking out for me that day. I don't care whether you believe in that sort of stuff or not, but someone was. When I was on HDU after my hip surgery, I saw, as plain as anything, to the point I felt I could reach out and touch them, two of my grandparents. I firmly believe they were looking out for me.
Anyway, most of you know I have recently started hydrotherapy. I personally think it has helped a lot! I have a lot more range of movement in my right hip, and it does feel stronger. I've also started trotting!! HALLELUJAH!!! But I am seeing the same thing over and over. “I CAN'T".
My mum always told me growing up, "there's no such word as can’t”, and you know what...she's right. There is no harm in trying. But don't just roll over and say "I can't" without trying. How many times do you think I said "I can't"? Because let me tell you..It isn't many. I will do whatever it takes to be back at full fitness and enjoying doing what I love most.
Let me set the scene for you at my most recent interaction with the Negative Nancy.... waiting to get in the pool a group of 10 or so. I'm the youngest there, and I'm the ONLY one walking with aids. The changing rooms are lethal, I’ve slipped ON crutches the last few times I’ve been, there are no anti slip mats anywhere, just wet floors which are tiled! The physio said she could get a wheelchair and wheel me through. I politely declined, I've spent enough time in a wheelchair now my legs work, and I will walk. I registered my name and sat with the others, they are all chatting about their problems. One has a trapped nerve, one has a "bad back" she thinks caused by her posture. An older guy turns to me and asks if I have had a hip replacement, pointing at one of my scars. For the first time I felt a little vulnerable and wanted to cry, I forget how permanent they are. But I suck it up and explained I didn't have it replaced but I did have it pinned and plated. "And what about your other one" he points to the other leg... again I explained about the fractured femur being plated, and explained the other injuries I’ve had. Silence...nothing no further conversation, from anyone...awkward.
So into the pool we all go, I wait until the last as I have to drop the crutches at pool side. Into the water and it feels amazing. Like walking normal without any aids or help! The physio in the pool sets us off doing some exercises. One is walking sideways across the pool, so off we go, I’m sort of middle pool not shallow but not too deep. Everyone is chatting away getting on with the exercises apart from a couple of people, are walking at snail speed, saying how they "can't" do it. I keep my head down and get on with what I’m doing. Over lapping one TWICE! Now I’m definitely no Usain Bolt on dry land or in the pool, and yes it’s aching me to do this but I grit my teeth and keep on with that goal in mind.
Another exercise, we are given a large long foam float, the float is made into a U shape and pushed under water with 1 foot stood on it. You then take the float out to the side and back in again, this is really helping the inner thigh muscles as you are pushing/pulling against the water current. I'm chatting the older guy from earlier who was questioning me, we're chatting away about how many sessions he's had and how much it has helped him. He also has had hip surgery, he had a replacement. I look over to the physio who is trying to convince a younger lady to at least have a try. This is her fourth session (NHS only provide 4!) and she is yet to try. Now I’m not one to judge but how do people expect to get any further forward in their rehab and progression if they don't even attempt to T R Y?
My first session I couldn't stand on one leg in the water, but I kept having a go, small and often and now I can! Still a little wobbly but going in the right direction.
Too many times I hear "Can't" where ever I go. As my mum says "there is no such word as can't" at least have a try!!
Love Laura x